What if the senior leader throwing tantrums is you? In Issue 15 of IGW Insights we emphasized the importance of culture, and specifically that the worst behavior you tolerate defines your culture. In Issue 16 we discussed the tantrum metric, and implied that it should be zero. When you have a senior leader who regularly throws tantrums, it is not only childish but also destructive of your culture. You must understand that the leader brings the weather. As the leader goes emotionally, so goes the organization. And this is because your team, subconsciously or otherwise, has all eyes on you for signals as to how to behave, as to what is acceptable. All eyes on you, in other words, for the model of how the culture is supposed to be actualized through behavior. Read on here.
Recommended Reading and Listening
Perhaps the single core principle that drives IGW coaching is that human beings have free will and are therefore capable of change. If you’re the one who is throwing the tantrums, it is likely the result of what psychologist, consultant, and coach Gay Hendricks calls the Upper Limit Problem (ULP). The ULP is a subconscious attempt to self-sabotage because of the core limiting belief that we do not deserve to feel good or have good things happen to us. Hendricks’s book The Big Leap outlines the principles of the ULP and provides simple tools for working the muscles of emotional expansion.
Journaling Exercise
Legendary business coach Dan Sullivan famously said that, “all progress starts by telling the truth.” Put pen to paper and answer the following prompts. Give yourself no more than 10 minutes to write. This is the beginning of discovering the truth in your tantrums:
- When was the last time I threw a tantrum? Reconstruct the events: What happened just before, what triggered the tantrum, and what was I feeling at the time?
- When I lost control of my emotions in that moment, what root problem was I trying to confront?
- What was my role in the problem? How did I contribute to or even cause the root problem?
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Dan Weiss, CEO
