Shocking discovery: the people who work with us and for us are human beings!
A short excerpt from a recent email from a client (let’s call him Bob):
“I received a confrontational email from our new CEO. ‘You are not doing what you were asked to do.’ I’m confused. I haven’t even met with him yet–what task is he referring to???
His email knocked me off balance. Is management-by-email-grenade going to be the new operational culture at the senior level? To say the least that would be a cultural 180, and not what I signed on for.
I reached out to a mentor to process these feelings of anxiety. He heard me. He just listened. That call enabled me to think clearly and make a plan.”
Bob ends his email with a two-step action plan and a request for support in preparing for both of those steps.
In another post I’ll write about how we helped Bob with his plan of action, but for now let’s focus on Bob’s mentor.
What did his mentor do that was so special? He listened. He created a risk-free conversation. This enabled Bob to dial down the temperature of the situation and think clearly.
What an incredible gift. Do we have the patience to lead in this manner when our teammates are consumed by stress?
Right after reading Bob’s email I happened to open poet Mary Oliver’s magnificent book Blue Horses and flipped right to a poem called “Loneliness.”
It’s pretty short – give it a read.
The people around us, who work with us and for us, are human beings. Sometimes they feel misunderstood. Rejected. Uncertain.
Every single one of them feels unbeautiful at times. This feeling of uncertainty is, at best, a distraction, taking people’s heads out of the game. At worst it destroys productivity entirely.
Bob’s mentor recognized, in the moment, where Bob was emotionally.
Not strategically, not tactically, but emotionally. And he simply listened. “Oh, motions of tenderness!”
That phone call opened a pressure valve for Bob. That phone call moved him from a state of anxious rumination to a state of action and productivity.
“But business is not group therapy.”
I agree. Is the opposite of group therapy expecting everyone to leave their humanity at the door?
Keep the high expectations. Keep the objectives, the metrics, the performance evaluations. But know that the people around you might need the occasional few minutes of consequence-free listening.
Done well, it can shift a person from a state of inability to contribute to a state of ability to contribute.
That is leadership.
Are you a business owner/CEO looking for executive coaching and training solutions? Book a complimentary 15-minute strategy call to see how IGW can help you scale your leadership, build a performance culture, and take your business to the next level.
